


They're Gonna Wake Up

by iselsis



Category: Original Work
Genre: Body Horror, Dark Comedy, Gen, Minor Character Death, Murder Mystery, POV Child, Psychological Horror, Surreal, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:42:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28997694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iselsis/pseuds/iselsis
Summary: There was a dead guy in the living room.He hadn’t been there when the Heavenly children – Jennifer, Jonathan, Liza, Arthur, Beatrice, Patrick, and Cissy - and their cat Beanpole Alexander III - had gone to bed, but now he was all spread out around the room.
Relationships: Original Child Characters - Relationship, Original Sibling Characters
Comments: 15
Kudos: 35





	They're Gonna Wake Up

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is something I wrote a couple months back for a class, and I really like how it turned out. I know this isn't Batman, but ta-da!

There was a dead guy in the living room.

He hadn’t been there when the Heavenly children – Jennifer, Jonathan, Liza, Arthur, Beatrice, Patrick, and Cissy - and their cat Beanpole Alexander III, had gone to bed, but now he was all spread out around the room.

Jennifer sighed, because she was the oldest, and Mommy and Daddy were still sleeping, so that meant that it was _her_ job to clean things up. She didn’t really wanna, but she had to get it done before Mommy and Daddy woke up. She slapped her most happy girl face on, because Mommy said she had to be a _good influence_ on the little kids, and clapped her hands, turning to her siblings.

“Well, isn’t this a lovely surprise!” she said happily, trying not to be upset by the green color on everyone else’s face. Luckily, Beanpole Alexander III was quite calm – he was chewing on a finger in the corner.

Oh dear, that was actually quite a nuisance. Jennifer Heavenly looked around the room. He was _mostly_ on the couch, but there were a lot of bits and bobs all over the place. There were too many to expect Beanpole Alexander III to eat _all_ of them before they started smelling.

“Alright, everyone!” She put her fists on her hips like Daddy did when he was serious or playing being scary. “We’re going to clean this up before Mommy and Daddy wake up, or they’re going to be not happy with us.”

Arthur yawned and rubbed his eyes with his knuckles, but _Mommy_ said he wasn’t supposed to do that because it would make his allergies really bad. Beatrice remembered _for him_ and slapped his hands away, because she was a good girl and didn’t like the boys disobeying Mommy.

“But Mommy and Daddy have been sleeping-” Jonathan started counting on his fingers, but he ran out of fingers and started counting on his socked toes. He ran out of those too, but Jonathan wasn't very good at counting. “When are they gonna wake up, Jenny?”

Jennifer smiled so brightly that her cheeks hurt. “They’re gonna wake up real soon, baby.”

Liza frowned up at Jennifer from where she and baby Cissy were playing tug-a-war with Beanpole Alexander III. “Uncle Lucius said they weren’t gonna wake up _at all_. He said they got what was comin’ cause they didn’t like ta share Grampa’s heritage money.”

Jennifer frowned for the first time, but she smiled again real quick. “Daddy says Uncle Lucius is a baster and a liar, so we don’t havta listen to him.”

“Isn’t that what Mommy uses for turkey?” Beatrice asked.

“Basters are scary,” Arthur squeaked, because one time he tried to drink dirty dish water out of Mommy’s baster and got real sick. Everyone else thought it was real funny, but he didn’t like basters anymore.

“Their booboos are really big, Jenny,” Patrick mumbled.

“There are bugs on their faces, Jenny,” Jonathan added, because Jonathan was _gross_ and liked to talk about bugs. 

Jennifer clapped her hands in a sharp pattern, and her siblings copied her without thinking, except for Cissy, who had gotten the finger from Beanpole Alexander III and was teething on it. Everyone watched her as she walked over to the dead guy and poked him with her foot. It was gross and icky, and the insides were all outsides like the frog Daddy ran over on the driveway in the summer.

“Okay, Jonny, Liza, you help me carry him outside. We can put him in the garbage can. Beabie, put Cissy in her jumper, and then you and Pat and Arty pick up all the gross bits and put them in a grocery bag,” Jennifer decided, because she was the boss.

Beatrice made a squishy face at Jennifer. “I don’t wanna touch the _guts,_ Jenny.”

Jennifer rolled her eyes and looped her arms around the dead guy’s arm and dug her heels in to pull him off the couch. “Use the _salad tongs_ , Beabie.”

Liza made a squishy face too, but she grabbed his leg, and Jonathan grabbed his other arm.

The oldest Heavenly children made quick work of carrying the body to the metal trashcans at the road while the younger three picked up in the living room. The big kids had to help because there were ropey bits – _intestines_ , Jonathan said, but Jennifer was pretty sure he was making that word up – all tangled on the fan, and Jonathan had to pick Arthur up like Simba from the Lion King while standing on a chair Patrick dragged in from the kitchen so that Arthur could reach them and get them off.

When they were all finished, except for mopping, but only _Mommy_ mopped things, Jennifer took all her brothers and sisters into the kitchen to make dino nuggets. They were all tired of dino nuggets, but that was all Jennifer knew how to make, except for sandwiches, and she wasn’t even really supposed to use the oven without Mommy or Daddy but…

They really had been asleep for a long time. Jennifer _knew_ they were gonna wake up soon, but…

She dipped her stegosaurus nugget into a puddle of ketchup that looked just as red as Mommy and Daddy’s sheets had when they first went to sleep.

They weren’t dead.

Jennifer knew what dead people looked like – they were all still and not breathing like the guy from the living room - and they _weren’t_ dead. But… they were kind of _acting_ like it. Daddy liked to play pretend a lot, and Mommy was a princess, so she wasn’t gonna wake up until Daddy stopped pretending and kissed her. Or maybe they were sick, because you have to sleep a lot when you’re sick.

Her tummy made a funny face at her and said no to her stegosaurus. She dropped her nugget on the floor for Beanpole Alexander III to eat and picked up another, and she didn’t put ketchup on that one.

She really hoped Mommy and Daddy woke up soon.


End file.
